I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
