Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
