I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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