ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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