ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
