I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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