Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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