Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
