She's JV to your varsity
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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