Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
