32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
