well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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