Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
