quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
