i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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