Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
