Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When are your genitals available?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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