I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Boobs are out for the taking
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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