I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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