too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
