hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
