so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
