is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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