Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize