So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
