sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
