this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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