Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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