You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
