SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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