why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Is it because I queefed?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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