I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
