shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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