I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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