A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
