You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize