Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
