Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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