Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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