party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
