and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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