maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
