i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize