So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
