dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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