Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
