he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize