just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
