4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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