Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
