yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize