My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
