In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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