I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
