I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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