Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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