I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
