it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize