So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
