At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
