God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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