I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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