the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
