do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
