was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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