They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
