he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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