i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
