I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
